My wife and I went over to another couple’s apartment that we had recently met. We had a great time playing board games and eating pizza.

On our way home, my wife and I said to each other at the same time, “Did you notice their chickens?”

The couple had two colorful ceramic chickens sitting on one of their shelves. They were not terrible decorations in themselves, they just didn’t vibe with the whole rest of the apartment or, seemingly, with the couple themselves. We didn’t say anything while hanging out with them because we didn’t really know this couple — we were just getting acquainted. But to us the birds stuck out to us like a sore thumb.

Over time we built our friendship with the couple more. One time when we went over to their apartment I asked them about the chickens. It turns out ceramic chickens are kind of a thing in New Zealand and the wife used to live there. Who knew!

I think this example illustrates a key difference between an acquaintance and a true friend.

An acquaintance isn’t going to, or at least shouldn’t, bring up subjects about your life that are potentially sensitive unless it’s significantly affecting them or very time sensitive.

But a true friend should at some point. If they don’t, they might not actually be your friend.

Who are the people who would talk to you about your ceramic chickens? Who are the people who you’d talk to about their chickens?