Here’s a list of things that I wrote down about being a parent in the first few weeks. Quite a few of them I wish someone had told us before having a baby. I hope it helps!
- This goes without saying, but it’s a very good idea to think through and start gathering the supplies you’ll need in the hospital and the first couple of weeks ahead of time (probably more than a month before).
- If you’re using an epidural, pushing the bolus button should make a noise when it works and always display a message (whether or not medicine was delivered) on the screen. For us it wasn’t working and didn’t do this but we had no idea it was supposed to.
- A woman in labor will likely feel a lot of pain but sometimes the pain is exacerbated by the positioning. Try mixing up the positioning before going to an epidural, even if you want to get an epidural eventually.
- In parenting it’s best to say what you’re thinking most all of the time, especially the first few weeks. It’s completely new for both parents! Don’t assume anything and err on the side of overcommunicating.
- The non-birthing partner should try to do everything they possibly can for the birthing partner, especially after birth (burping baby, changing baby, swaddling baby, keeping baby entertained so mom can sleep, etc.).
- When you’re burping a baby it helps to have some material (shirt, swaddle, etc.) in between your hand and the baby’s back. Also, burping them while holding them by their chin while they are sitting in your lap and leaning forward is surprisingly effective.
- Having a third adult around to cook, clean, and potentially take some night shifts is very helpful.
- It can be comforting to tap your baby’s bottom as it simulates them feeling a heartbeat in the womb.
- When transferring a baby to a crib, make sure the feet touch first, then butt, then body/head.
- The hold — Extremely useful for a young baby.
- When newborns are gassy, sometimes they display similar signals as when they are hungry. Try giving them a pacifier before feeding them. If they spit it out, they are probably hungry, but if they find it comforting maybe they’re just gassy. Our daughter never really took a pacifier well, but this trick still worked for us and helped get us through the gassiest days (weeks 6-10 or so).
- Doing a gas stretch when putting on their swaddle can help them sleep better.
- The correct order of feeding a newborn: strip down, one breast / half bottle, burp, poop / gas stretch, change diaper and put on clothes, next breast / half bottle.
- Breastfed babies may prefer sucking on an upside down pinky for comfort. Babies who take bottles prefer a pacifier.
- Bottle fed babies often need a pacifier during sleep but breast fed babies usually don’t. For breast fed babies, when they have been asleep 5 minutes or so, you can remove the pacifier by pulling it out in one quick motion.
- If your baby is very distracted by visuals while they try to go to sleep, try putting a hat over their eyes. Eventually they catch on and dislike it but it can help for a bit.
- Regardless of how tired you are, staying up to give your baby the proper amount of upright time and burping them is worth it. If you don’t, you’ll have to get up sooner.
Every baby is very different. With time (and a lot of difficulty but also joy) you’ll figure out what works for your baby.